Before getting to the meat of today’s post, I have announcement concerning T.A.A. I forgot to mention last week.
Musical Musings, and my other usual schedule postings will be on hiatus as I work through my offline life.
But I do have an update worth sharing today.
Earlier this month, I signed up for a Query Blog Hop, started by the blog “Between The Sheets” by author/editor, Heather Webb.
For those too busy to read the whole rundown on Heather’s blog, here’s (roughly) how it works-
Writers who registered before 6/22/12, critique each other’s query letter(s), maximum of two per entrant, and send a revised “final” version based on feedback, by Friday [6/29/12] at Midnight.
The winner gets a free editorial critique of their first 2,000 words, and so I hope you’ll offer your thoughts on one or both queries I share with you today.
This contest also gives me an opportunity to sharpen my own critiquing skills, which is still not a straightforward thing for me, but I’m trying.
Without further delay, here are my entries-
NOTE: Any changes differing from the norm of “standard issue submission format” was done for ease of reading via the blog.
Query #1
Dear Agent,
Gabriel Crisping loves pawing through junkyards, village alleys, dumpsters, salvaging the junk humans throw out—and he recycles them to build his inventions. While some of the forest residents appreciate his tinkering, the majority his fellow rats, even his best friend Rum Wheatland, think him a crazy dreamer.
When a harsh storm blows in, ruining a promising dumpster dive, Gabriel seeks refuge in Mr. Quint’s toy shop. He finds a kindred spirit in the elderly toymaker, who loves theorizing and inventing contraptions as much as Gabriel does. Yet by befriending Mr. Quint, Gabriel has broken a universal law – he has spoken directly to a human! Gabriel keeps Mr. Quint a secret until Rum’s parents are killed in a human trap. When Rum learns of Gabriel’s friendship, he severs ties with him and focuses his anger on Mr. Quint, planning to wage war toward not only the old toymaker, but also humanity at large.
The only way for Gabriel to save Mr. Quint is to stop Rum, whose grief sinks him into the madness and violence of vengeance. The only thing worse than losing an old friend, is betraying a new one, and maybe, he can save them both.
GABRIEL is a 34,000-word middle grade novel. Thank you for your time and consideration.
Query #2
Dear Agent,
QUERY BLOG HOP!
Aurel Finnwhistle may be a weasel, but the only things crooked about him are the bent tip of his tail, and bent spike pearl he wears around his neck. This irregularly shaped ‘Baroque Pearl’ contains ancient magical properties from times gone by, and gives Aurel the ability to transform into a human, to both search for his elusive father, and to solve the mystery behind the dark powers that took his mother’s life.
Henrietta Caulfield is a working class high school student who suppresses her dream to be fashion designer, to care for her father who is losing his eyesight due to a curse, and is determined to find a rare tea that is the only known cure to reversing her father’s curse.
These worlds collide when Henrietta’s best friend Orla reveals her identity as a weasel princess who escaped her kingdom when an army of unknown origins seized control.
To save the queen and restore peace, Orla must create a team of warriors to defend her kingdom, and Aurel and Henrietta insist on standing by her. What they did not expect was to fall in love along the way.
THE BAROQUE WEASEL is a 50,000-word Young Adult novel.
Share your thoughts to either or both query letters in the comments below. What could be tighter? What read weird or unclear? Anything that seems off or confusing.
Remember, the better you can explain and show WHY something doesn’t work for you, the easier it is for the writer to fix it, or at least know it’s there…
You can find the full list of writers in the blog hop here.
Best of luck to all of you.
Ciao for now,
Taurean